i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
