O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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