Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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