How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
