have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
