She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize