one might say we're banned from that church
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
