If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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