he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
