just come out here and I will go home with you...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize