Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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