Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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