Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
