so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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