Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
