My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
