cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
