I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
