Define "chronic" masturbator.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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