I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
