are you still at the devil's house?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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