Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
