he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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