you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
