Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
