Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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