need another drink. this is the easiest way
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
