If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
