it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
