Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
