I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
