Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do herpes really smell.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
