that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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