he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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