fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
