and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
