and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
