Need sex. Gaining weight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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