can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
