i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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