You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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