I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
