I can't breathe out the right side of my face
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
