I cannot find my penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize