I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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