Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
do nipples grow back?
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