I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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