I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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