I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
