That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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