You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
