wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it penis luge time yet?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
