Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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