I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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