first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
