well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it hurts more in the daytime
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
