i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
